GM. This is the Milk Road, we’re the Brita filter of crypto - we get rid of all the bad stuff so you only get the best minerals & nutrients.

Here’s what we got for you today:

• The FBI owns a Bored Ape

• Bitcoin holders have diamond hands

• Say hello to the new crypto rehab centers

• A new triple threat in crypto

THE FBI OWNS A BORED APE

The Bored Ape Yacht Club has attracted the biggest names in the world… Snoop Dogg. Neymar. Paris Hilton. Steph Curry. Major League Soccer (MLS). Universal Music Group - they all own Bored Apes.

Well, there’s a new addition to the club - the FBI. Without further ado, say hello to the FBI’s new agent… Bored Ape #9658 - the Jason Bourne of NFTs.

The FBI recently seized the Bored Ape, a Doodle NFT, 87 ETH, and a $40k watch from an infamous crypto scammer that goes by the name “Horror”. Horror was part of a multi-million dollar crypto scheme that infiltrated 600+ Discord servers and 12+ Twitter accounts to steal crypto. (including Beeple, NounsDAO, and other popular projects)

Last September, ZachXBT (an independent blockchain investigator who tracks hacks & scams) exposed Horror. ZachZBT figured out Horrors government name: Chase Senecal. As a result, the FBI was able to seize and recover ~$250k worth of stolen assets.

The craziest part? ZachXBT discovered the scammers identity by tracking a $40k Audemars Piguet luxury watch. (Don’t ask me how that’s pronounced. I’ve learned if I can’t say the name, I probably can’t afford it anyways.)

Senecal posted a pic of the watch as a flex on social media. ZachXBT talked to a few friends in the watch business and eventually got in contact with the person that sold it to Senecal. Since it was paid for in USDC, they were able to track the wallet address & figure out who the scammer was.

Gotham City might have Batman, but crypto has ZachXBT. And the wild thing is no one even knows who they are. They expose scammers (for free) and do it all while having a penguin as the profile pic.

Not the hero we deserved, but the hero we needed. If you’re ever in trouble, just put the ZachXBT signal up.

TODAY'S EDITION IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY METAMASK LEARN

MetaMask Learn is an educational and entertaining platform designed to immerse you in the world of web3— what it is, why it matters, and how to get started. You will learn core concepts in fresh and engaging lessons from the world’s leading self-custodial wallet.

MetaMask Learn is for you if:

• You’ve been interested in web3 but just don’t know where to start

• You’ve bought some crypto on an exchange but don’t know what to do with it

• You still don’t understand web3 principles because they’ve been too jargon-heavy

• You want to know what the fuss about web3 really is

• You just want to keep up with your friends who babble about this new digital era and its possibilities

The list could go on. But at its core, Learn is designed for anyone who wants to take the leap to explore uncharted waters.

At a self-moderated pace, you can jump into any and all lessons that interest you, interact with features in the simulation, and experience those satisfying “ah-ha” moments when you finally grasp important concepts.

As you may have heard, crypto wasn’t created to make you rich, it was created to set you free. And we like to think freedom is fun.

HALF OF BITCOIN HOLDERS HAVE BEEN DIAMOND HANDS FOR THE PAST

In crypto, there are two types of people:

1/ Diamond hands - people that hold onto their assets, no matter what. They hold on to crypto the same way a 20-year old holds on to their socks & boxers - no matter how many holes there are (or how low prices drop), they refuse to throw it away.

2/ Paper hands - people that sell their assets as soon as things start going downhill. It could be the price dropping $0.0001 or some random rumors on Twitter - any signs of trouble and these people dump their bags faster than DiCaprio dumps his gf when she turns 25.

Well, turns out a lot of BTC holders have diamond hands. In fact, 49% of the total BTC supply has stayed in the same wallet for more than two years, according to data from Glassnode. That’s a new all-time high.

So what? The fact that investors have held on during the crypto winter shows there’s still a ton of confidence in BTC in the long-term and could be a bullish indicator.

Either that, or a bunch of people are just straight up losing the seed phrase to their Bitcoin wallets. (It’s estimated ~15% of all Bitcoin has been lost from users losing access to their wallets.)

Crypto investors are a lot like Ashton Kutcher and Seann Scott after a night of partying, they wake up saying “Dude, where’s my car seed phrase?”

ADDICTED TO CRYPTO? SAY HELLO TO THE NEW CRYPTO REHAB CENTERS

People have all kinds of addictions. Gambling addiction. Drug addiction. Girl Scout Cookie addiction. And of course, there’s crypto addiction.

Well now a luxury rehab center is adding services to help treat crypto trading addiction. The center is called “The Balance” and it has locations in Spain, Switzerland, and England.

The rehab center estimates that ~1% of crypto traders will develop an "extreme" addiction to trading and will frequently do stuff like check prices in the middle of the night. People like this…

Which is why The Balance came up with a new treatment…A four-week stay filled with therapy, massages, yoga, bike rides, and more. 

Plus you get a chef, a butler, and this damn good view every day.

Sounds great, right? But there’s a catch…

The treatment costs upwards of $75,000. So while crypto traders might reach their moment of Zen while at the center, all that goes out the window when they get home and see the bill.

Good concept. Questionable pricing. I get there’s a balance between trying to help people while also making money, but the only balance I see here is in the name of the center.

MILK AND COOKIES

Russia’s largest bank goes DeFi. Russian bank Sberbank aims to launch a new DeFi platform by May. It will be Ethereum-compatible and customers will be able to use MetaMask wallets. Sberbank is a majority state-owned bank that is home to one-third of all aggregate banking assets in Russia.

GTX coming soon? Rumor has it that Kyle Davies & Su Zhu have successfully raised $25M for their new venture - GTX. From Bankrupt → Venture-Funded real quick.

A new triple threat. Samsung is teaming up with Google & Qualcomm to build new metaverse hardware devices. Damn, haven’t seen a better trio since KD teamed up with Steph Curry & Klay Thompson. Watch out, Zuck.

MILKY MEMES

🤣🤣

That's a wrap for today. Stay thirsty & see ya tomorrow! If you want more, be sure to follow our Twitter (@MilkRoadDaily)

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.