Today’s edition is brought to you by Origin Protocol - deposit your ETH or staked ETH to earn additional yield from trading fees and DeFi activities.

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GM. This is Milk Road, where we dive into the crypto ocean and bring you back pearls - just so you don't get your feet wet.

Here’s what we got today:

• ETH futures ETFs flop on Day 1 📊

• BitBoy gets put on the Hot Seat 🔥

• Graph of the Day: the streak of outflows is over 👀

• The trial of the century starts today 🍪

ETH FUTURES ETFS FLOP ON DAY 1 📊

The first ETH futures ETFs launched in the U.S. yesterday.

In fact, 9 ETFs went live… all at once.

They were launched by some of the biggest investment firms in the world like Valkyrie, VanEck, ProShares, Bitwise, and more.

So, how’d Day 1 go? “Pretty meh” -according to Eric Balchunas, a Senior ETF Analyst at Bloomberg.

• By midday, the ETFs had a combined $2M in trading volume.

• This was much lower than previous crypto ETF launches.

• To compare, the first BTC futures ETF saw $1B in trading volume on its first day. ($200M was traded within the first 15 minutes after launch!)

Ouch.

I haven’t seen a bigger flop than when I tried throwing a house party in 8th grade…

Only 3 people showed up. (1 was my brother, who already lived in the house)

We’ll see if the ETH futures ETFs can bounce back after a weak debut.

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And Origin Protocol takes security seriously. They’re audited by the same folks that audit Coinbase, The Ethereum Foundation, and Aave.

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BITBOY GETS PUT ON THE HOT SEAT 🔥

This week we have a new guest on Milk Road’s Hot Seat…

Government name: Benjamin Charles Armstrong.

Nickname: “BitBoy”.

Known as: a YouTuber/influencer (1.5M subscribers) who made millions trading crypto, and bought expensive sh*t to flex on social media.

His pockets jingled with coins, and his garage vroomed with luxury.

Well, it’s been a crazy few weeks for him...

• Got fired from his own company due to alleged “financial damage to employees” and “substance abuse”

• Got caught cheating on his wife

• Lost his Lamborghini to his business partner

• Live-streamed himself on social media outside of his business partner’s house trying to get the Lambo back (he also had a gun, and his mistress, with him)

• Got arrested for it

• Spent the night in jail

Now, he’s looking to sell off all the fancy stuff he was flexing on social media not too long ago… (i.e. cars, Rolex watches, NFTs).

The lesson: life comes at you fast.

Ben went from BitBoy → ShowMeYourBidsBoy in the span of a few weeks.

Remember kids, just say no to drugs.

GRAPH OF THE DAY: WEEKLY CRYPTO FUNDS FLOW REPORT 👀

The results from the latest weekly Digital Asset Fund Flows Report are in…funds invested $21M into digital assets.

Here are some of the top takeaways from the report:

• Bitcoin led the way with $20M in inflows. BTC saw 4x more trading volume than any other digital asset this week.

• Institutional investors love Solana. $SOL saw its 27th week of inflows this year. To compare, it’s only seen 4 weeks of outflows.

• Macro news is pushing institutions toward crypto. Analysts believe that the inflows are a combo of “positive price momentum, fears over U.S. government debt prices, and the recent quagmire over government funding”. (btw, today I learned quagmire was a real word and not just the name of the creepy dude from Family Guy.)

The best part? The 6-week streak of outflows is over.

To celebrate… I did that thing where you grab some plates, smash them on the ground, and yell “Opa”!

(P.S. - DO NOT try this at home in front of your wife.)

BITE-SIZED COOKIES 🍪

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Sam Bankman-Fried’s trial is starting today. Unfortunately, you can’t watch it (missed PPV opportunity, imo) but there are a handful of accounts live-Tweeting the action. Check out Blockworks and Inner City Press.

Honda has partnered with FCF Pay to accept crypto as a form of payment. People will be able to purchase, finance, or lease a car using crypto like BTC, ETH, DOGE, SHIBA, and more.

UBS Asset Management is launching a pilot for a tokenized money market fund. The tokenized fund will live on the Ethereum blockchain.

Adidas is teaming up with Moncler to launch a new NFT collection. The new campaign includes “AI-generated adventurers” NFTs and an immersive digital experience.

Celsius is aiming to begin making payments back to customers by the end of the year. The bankrupt crypto lender is waiting for court approval to start refunds.

*This is sponsored content

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.