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GM. This is Milk Road, where the crypto forecast is always sunny with a high chance of laughter.

It’s Friday. Let’s boogie:

• How to scam a scammer 😂

• The U.S. vs. Sam Bankman-Fried: Day 3 highlights ⚖️

• We just made a new investment… 👀

• Jack Dorsey’s launching a new hardware wallet soon 🍪

HOW TO SCAM A SCAMMER 😂

It’s Friday, so let’s start with a laugh.

Meet Kitboga. Aka The Scammer Slammer.

He’s known for one big thing: pranking scammers. (he’s the hero we didn’t know we needed)

In his latest video, he pranks a group of scammers who are trying to steal $400K worth of crypto from his Kraken account.

Trust me, it’s worth the watch.

SECURELY EMPOWERING THE CRYPTO ECONOMY 

Some things are just made to go together.

At Milk Road, we call it a perfect fit. And that’s just what you get when you work with Bakkt. Founded in 2018, Bakkt’s approach to crypto emphasizes security every step of the way.

From a company structure that separates custody and exchange functions, to advanced risk prevention tactics, Bakkt does crypto responsibly.

And it shows. They’re:

• Audited: Bakkt maintains comprehensive regulation and security with regular 3rd-party audits

• Responsible: Bakkt builds off its traditional finance foundation to bring a responsible mindset to every solution delivered

• Selective: They make decisions with diligence – from coin selection to business relationships

• Licensed: Bakkt holds BitLicense, MSB, and MTLs with the ability to operate in all 50 states. Additionally, Bakkt Trust Company, LLC is an NYDFS Qualified Custodian

Let Bakkt guide you through a responsible and secure crypto journey. Dive deeper into their unique approach into risk and security here!

THE U.S. VS SAM BANKMAN-FRIED⚖️

Yesterday was Day 3 of The United States vs. Sam Bankman-Fried. (formerly-known-as-SBF, or fkSBF for short)

If I had to describe it in one word: snitchfest.

There were more tattle-talers than a kindergarten classroom…

There were 3 witnesses that took the stand: Adam Yedidia, Matt Huang, and Gary Wang.

WITNESS #1: Adam Yedida - fkSBF’s long-time friend and former FTX employee.

Adam’s testimony was a lot like a math textbook… full of big words that put you to sleep. (just ask the jury member who actually fell asleep.)

Here’s a quick sample:

Lawyer: In 2022 FTX had about 6 million users. Does this sound correct?

Adam: I have substantial uncertainty about how many users it had exactly, but it sounds about right, maybe within a factor of ten.

Judge: I'm sorry. I lost your answer.

Me too, Judge. Me too.

But Adam did provide some useful information:

• He found a software bug that overstated how much Alameda owed customers.

• This was when he realized there was ~$8B missing from customer accounts.

• When Adam confronted fkSBF about it, his response was: “We were bulletproof last year, but we’re not bulletproof this year.” 

• fkSBF encouraged FTX employees to use Signal and auto-delete messages.

• Adam later found out, from another developer, that Alameda was using FTX customer deposits to pay back loans to creditors.

• He resigned and hasn’t spoken to fkSBF since.

This was big because it shows that fkSBF knew there was financial trouble months before FTX’s collapse.

WITNESS #2: Matt Huang - co-founder of Paradigm and investor in FTX.

• Lost $275M investing in FTX.

• Claims fkSBF made investors believe that FTX customer deposits were always safe.

• He said fkSBF was “very resistant” to having investors join the board of directors.

Matt’s testimony was short, but it gave the jurors insight into how institutional investors and VCs were misled and also got burned.

WITNESS #3: Gary Wang - co-founder and CTO of FTX.

This was the highlight of the day.

Why? Because Gary alleges he not only saw fkSBF commit crimes, but they committed the crimes together.

• He knowingly committed fraud with fkSBF and other FTX executives.

• There was code written to give Alameda “backdoor” access to FTX customer funds.

• Gary wrote the code, but fkSBF told him what he wanted the code to do.

• This gave Alameda a $65B line of credit and unlimited withdrawals (!!)

BOOM! There it is.

Gary confirmed what we suspected all along… fkSBF had unlimited access to customer deposits.

It might still only be the first quarter of the trial, but the Defense is getting blown out.

We’ll see what Day 4 has in store.

WE JUST MADE A NEW INVESTMENT: INDEX FUNDS

We just made a new investment: index funds.

Why’d we invest? “In my view, the best thing to do is own an index fund.” - Warren Buffet.

… and if it’s good enough for the G.O.A.T of investing, it’s good enough for me.

So, we used the Milk Road public wallet to invest in 2 different index funds.

1/ Alongside’s Crypto Market Index

• Number of assets in the index: 25.

• Goal: Track the overall crypto market.

• Largest holdings: BTC, ETH.

• Management fee: 0.95%.

The index is also market cap-weighted, so Bitcoin makes up ~66% of the entire index.

Why this matters: this helps to limit risk in our portfolio, while still providing us meaningful exposure to riskier tokens.

2/ Coop’s DeFi Pulse Index

This index is focused solely on DeFi and tracks its performance as a sector.

• Number of assets in the index: 10

• Goal: Track the DeFi sector of the crypto industry

• Largest holdings: UNI, MKR, AAVE, LIDO

• While the index is only composed of 10 assets, the weightings of these assets are a lot more spread out than the Crypto Market Index.

Do we expect to get rich and retire from this? No.

But crypto index funds are a new trend we’ve been seeing a lot of, so we decided to test it out.

We’ll keep you updated on how they perform over the next few weeks. In the meantime, check out our Guide to Crypto Indices here.

BITE-SIZED COOKIES 🍪

Jack Dorsey’s new crypto hardware wallet, BitKey, is launching soon. The new hardware wallet is shaped like a hexagon and looks like a small rock.

Ledger cut 12% of its staff due to “macroeconomic headwinds”. The move comes after the hardware wallet manufacturer raised $100M+ earlier this year.

Sui Foundation announced a new $51.3M ecosystem fund. The foundation will use the funds to support the DeFi ecosystem being built on the Sui blockchain.

Yuga Labs made a strategic investment in Hadean, a spatial computing startup. It’s unclear how much was invested, but Hadean will help Yuga develop its Otherside metaverse.

Mythical Games launched a new mobile drag racing game with licensed car NFTs. The game is available on iPhones and Androids and will include car NFTs from brands like McLaren, Aston Martin, and more.

MILKY MEMES 🤣

HIT THE INBOX OF 250K+ CRYPTO INVESTORS

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.