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GM. This is Milk Road, your personal crypto butler. We hand-deliver the top-shelf stuff on a silver platter.

I’ll be honest…

Yesterday’s crypto news was drier than the overcooked turkey I made last Thanksgiving. (I came. I saw. I failed)

So rather than waste your time with long boring stories, let’s do 5 Quick Hitters from Twitter:

• Your cheat sheet for today’s FOMC meeting 📖

• How I got free money from a tweet 🤑

• ChatGPT launched its own token on Ethereum 👀

• Over the last 12 months, crypto has… 📊

• The 1 video you need to watch today 📽️

YOUR CHEATSHEET FOR TODAY’S FOMC MEETING 📖

Today is investors’ least favorite day of the month… FOMC Interest Rate Day.

It’s the day the U.S. Federal Reserve makes its decision on interest rates… raise ‘em, drop ‘em, or pause ‘em.

• There’s a 99% probability interest rates get paused, according to CME FedWatch.

• Analysts at Big-Name-Firms-And-Banks also predict the Fed will pause interest rates. JPMorgan, Goldman Sachs, Citi, Wells Fargo, etc. all forecast there won’t be any hikes today.

But all eyes (and ears) will be on Jerome Powell during his speech afterward.

It’s hard to predict what’ll happen, but here’s the cheat sheet I scribbled on my hand this morning:

A/ If interest rates go UP, prices go DOWN. (markets could go kaboom if rates get hiked when 99% of people didn’t expect it.)

B/ If interest rates stay THE SAME, Powell's speech will determine price movement. (hawkish = prices probably go down, bullish = prices probably go up)

Remember: the market reacts to perception, not results.

Either way… I’m a long-term believer, so I’m a long-term hodler. Just keep calm and carry on.

HOW I GOT “FREE MONEY” FROM A TWEET 🤑

I was trying to find cool stuff to tell you about when I came across this…

I haven’t been a big user of Arbitrum, so I didn’t think much of it.

I scrolled past it.

A few seconds later, I got smacked in the head with something. (Déjà vu, the holy spirit - whatever you want to call it…)

I jumped onto the Arbitrum Foundation’s website and started checking if my wallets were eligible.

On the 7th wallet (yes, I have a lot)... I got a match. 

Long story short: I had one too many glasses of milk one night, went down the Arbitrum rabbit hole, and started trying stuff out on the blockchain.

As a result, I was eligible to claim 800 ARB = $675.

Will I retire from this? No.

Will I order extra guac on my Chipotle today? F*ck yeah.

Btw - we don't want to post a link (Security 101), but you can check if you’re eligible for the airdrop using the official Arbitrum Foundation links.

MAKE TOKEN GRANT ADMINISTRATION SIMPLE

It’s no secret that token management gets complicated.

Between learning the crypto language and knowing the tax rules, token management can feel like an obstacle course.

But it doesn’t have to. That’s where Toku steps in.

Toku:

• Makes global token compensation and incentive awards simple

• Guides you through the token grant process with legal templates, vesting tracking, reporting, and tax management

• Handles all grant types - Token Purchase Agreements, Token Options, Restricted Token Grants, phantom tokens, you name it

The cherry on top? They also handle payroll, tax compliance and reporting needs in any jurisdiction!

Save time, money, and be compliant by working with Toku.

CHATGPT LAUNCHED ITS OWN TOKEN ON ETHEREUM 👀

I usually scroll past clickbaity posts (not today, Satan) but this was pretty cool.

A Twitter user, @CroissantEth, went on a mission…get ChatGPT to launch its own token on the Ethereum blockchain.

Spoiler alert: the mission was successful.

ChatGPT…

• Wrote the ERC20 smart contract to create the token

• Used OpenAI’s API to interact directly with the Ethereum blockchain

• Chose the total supply of the token (65B tokens)

• Generated the name of the token (AstroPepeX)

• Created the ticker for the token ($APX)

• Utilized DALL-E to create the image for the token

• Revoked ownership of the token (that way, it would eliminate any remaining ties to a human)

Amazing.

P.S. - this is not financial advice. It’s just a cool project we came across.

P.P.S. - my lawyer is giving me the death stare so I repeat, this is not financial advice.

OVER THE LAST 12 MONTHS, CRYPTO HAS… 📊

Meet Spencer.

Spencer is a General Partner at Blockchain Capital.

Spencer and Blockchain Capital just raised $580M to launch two new crypto funds, in a bear market. (*firm handshakes all around*)

Earlier this week, Spencer dropped this post.

Our brains work in funny ways. We tell ourselves we’re long-term investors, but we can’t stop looking at short-term prices.

Sometimes you just need to take a step back and appreciate the bigger picture.

If you’re hungry for a more in-depth analysis of where the markets are, check out our Bull and Bear case editions from last week.

1 VIDEO YOU NEED TO WATCH TODAY 📽️

Check it out, this video recently went viral.

It’s an old clip from 1993 when Burger King first started accepting credit cards, instead of just cash.

I’m too young to remember these days (I was -2 years old back in ‘93), but apparently, people HATED the idea of using credit cards at first.

The biggest argument: it was too slow.

It’s worth the 47-second watch. (just click the pic above)

A good reminder that even the greatest innovations have skeptics. Here are some gems from the video:

• “I just hope it doesn’t slow things down at the cash register…”

• “I’m sure it’ll work when people are on vacation and don’t have anything to do all day, but I can’t imagine it working on a day-to-day basis”

Side note: I guess people were a lot better at math back in the day…

I’d crumble under the pressure of having to count out $7.89 while 10+ people are in line behind me.

BITE-SIZED COOKIES 🍪

The SEC’s Crypto Enforcement Chief warns that more legal charges are coming to crypto companies. The chief said this includes crypto exchanges, DeFi platforms, etc… 🤬🤬🤬.

Oak Grove Ventures is launching a new $60M Web3 fund. The fund will focus on companies working at the intersection of Web3, A.I., and biotech.

Circle launched its USDC stablecoin on the Polkadot network. Now any app in the Polkadot ecosystem can use the dollar-backed stablecoin.

Walmart and POCLab (a web3 creative studio) are collaborating to launch “The Cultureverse”. The metaverse experience was created to celebrate the 50th birthday of hip-hop.

The Balancer front end was compromised yesterday. $250K+ worth of crypto was stolen from the DeFi protocol. Stay away for now!

MILKY MEMES 🤣

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.